Being a mother and a wife at 19 years old...

      My name is Kristina Gari, I'll be 20 years young in just about 2 weeks. I'm a wife and just have recently become a mother to a beautiful little girl. Interestingly, I was married for about 5 months before I found out I was pregnant with my daughter which I feel is rare to see now since at my age it's usually the other way around. I got engaged to my husband when I was 17 years old when I was a senior in High School. We both are Christian and felt it would be best to get married before moving in together before starting college. Being in High School wearing an engagement ring and NOT being pregnant earned me a lot of funny looks and snarky remarks from my classmates.  I would find myself having to defend my decisions to people who didn't even know me. It bothered  me deeply that people just couldn't accept my decision or at least keep their comments to themselves. People made my decision to get married at young age was like sentencing myself to prison, I would constantly get told things like; "Don't you want to go to college?" , "Do you really think it's going to last?", "Don't you want to live your OWN life before getting married?", as if getting married was going to make things like going to college and finding my own identity impossible. I kept my head held up high and graduated high school while working almost 40 hours a week saving money for wedding and getting our own place. I had already made the decision that I would put college off for a year, I needed a mental break from events that happened to me that year. I graduated high school in June 2012 and was married July 20th, 2012. Everything was moving so fast in my life. I felt such a sense of pride being able to graduate high school, pay for a wedding, work 35 hours a week, and get my own place by the age of 18. Growing up fast was something I was always accustomed to. I enjoyed married life with my husband for about 5 months. We had the ability to go wherever we wanted whenever we wanted. We would stay up all night and sleep in. We could hang out with friends and family however late we wanted. We could go on dates whenever we wanted. We just lived a normal young adults life with the exception of being married. But that all changed on December 8th, 2012 when I found out I was pregnant. I had taken a pregnancy test two days prior that had said negative but still felt like I had to be. I woke up in the morning two days later expecting to see negative results, so when I saw those two little pink lines I got a feeling I didn't know existed. I felt scared, unprepared, excited, and most of all blessed. I walked into our bedroom white as a ghost holding the test, crying. My husband wasn't convinced though. We left the house in our pajamas and headed to Walgreens and bought more tests. It was not my proudest moment buying pregnancy tests crying in front of a cashier. All of the tests were positive. A few weeks later we got confirmation from a doctor. So many things were going through my mind at once. Would I be a good mother? Can I be selfless? Can I put my childs' needs before my own? Would they have a good life? Could I provide? I had just quit my job a week before I found out I was pregnant. It was one of the most stressful times of my life. But our God is faithful. My husband got blessed with a job that gave me that ability to focus on staying home with our baby. I was around 20 weeks pregnant when I was in the hospital with abdominal pain when I received the ultrasound discovering our baby was going to be a little girl. It is one of best surprises life could give you. 21 weeks later and 8 hours of painful labor later, I met her. The absolute love of my life. It was absolutely the best and most powerful moment of my life. It might sound cliche, but you experience a new love that is so deep you never knew. It is the most alive you could ever feel. Her eyes meeting mine for the first time was the most amazing feeling I had ever felt. I have only been a mother for 11 weeks now and I love her more with every passing day. I'm truly blessed to have the opportunity to stay at home and watch her grow, not missing a precious moment. I love being her mother, the person she trusts and needs. Being passionate about being a mother and a wife at such a young age inspired me to start a blog and to hopefully reach out to other young women who might be going through the same thing and hopefully meet other women who have been on a journey similar to mine. I don't regret any of the decisions I have made in my life and am so happy where they have taken me. I am looking forward to making new friends and reading others stories while sharing my own.